Dealing With Heartbreak

What is happening to us?

Right now, I’m dealing with heartbreak and I’m struggling with it. It was nothing recently done to me. It’s my own heart due to the world around me.

As I prayed last night, I started thinking about times when I’ve chosen not to show love. I started begging God to forgive me and open that closed part of my heart. I wondered why there was a slight mean streak in me. I then prayed for my child and begged God to protect her. The news article that I’d read about Amy Joyner-Francis, the teenaged girl who was killed in the girl’s bathroom at school, was on my mind. I started to cry and ask what was wrong with us?

That girl died over a boy. She was attacked by multiple girls over a boy who probably cared nothing about either of them. She was murdered and people watched and filmed it! Over a boy.

This was someone’s child. I can’t imagine sending your child off to school and getting a call like that. The thought sends shudders down my spine.

I felt like the world had become so wicked that no one values life anymore. There is no empathy, sympathy, or compassion. When someone actually does reach out and do something for another person, it becomes news. Why? Because we’re so far removed from helping others that’s it’s almost newsworthy when it happens. That is just sad. Showing kindness should be the norm, not the news.

I also felt terrible because I can act hardhearted at times. I would never think of harming another person. But, I do sense that I should smile at a person who seems to need acknowledgement, and I don’t. I withhold a simple smile. Not because I don’t like that person. But, because a smile might lead to a conversation. And I don’t like having conversations with new people. I like to stick to what I know and that’s not right.

I can’t pick and choose when I’m going to show love. Jesus said to love others as I would love myself. Maybe that’s the problem. I don’t always love myself. Sometimes, I don’t even like me very much.

I’m fearful, self-reliant, and suspicious of most people. I feel that most people are not trustworthy and can be cruel. News like the death of that young girl only seems to prove my point. I’d rather not meet that new person than risk disappointment later down the line. I’d rather not give the smile that might lead to a hello that might lead to a conversation that might generate a new acquaintance that might lead to disappointment.

Giving It To God

However, that is not the life God wants me to lead. I wanted something to comfort me after struggling with this and found this verse from Philippians.

6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7

I told God that I was going to give my troubles to Him because I didn’t know what to do with it. I was thinking about my own heart and the hearts of those girls in the bathroom,

I continued to search scripture and came across the following.

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
and saves the crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18

Also…

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
Psalm 147:3

I’m going to pray for healing. I’m going to pray for my heart and the heart of the girls that attacked the young girl in the bathroom. Our world is broken. Maybe if we learn to take that first step, and give a smile instead of walking on by, we can start a chain reaction of people showing love.

I know this post is rambling, but that’s what’s on my heart right now.

Have a blessed day.